I Tried Spending 7 Days without Social Media

The following is a recorded series of snippets from support group meetings that the author has attended. The published transcripts have been used with permission from all participants in the support group.

Day 1

[applause]

“Hi, everyone. Thanks for the warm welcome. My name is Angela. Recently, I’ve come to the realization that… I have certain habits that are becoming detrimental to my health. I spend an insane amount of time on Instagram every day and it’s gotten to the point where I can’t even pee without taking my phone with me to the bathroom. And, yeah. I’ll admit that I’ve dropped my phone in the toilet a couple of times.”

[groans]

“Don’t worry. The water was almost always clean but the moment I realized that I really needed to seek help was when… a couple of days ago, I got into a pretty bad car accident. I was driving at around fifty miles an hour down a busy intersection when I got a notification that Ariana Grande had posted a new picture on Instagram. There weren’t any cars on the road in front of me and, I thought, “I’m pretty good at multitasking.” But I’m not very good, apparently. Because as I was swiping through the post, I ran a red light, and a giant truck crashed into the side of my car.”

[more groans and murmurs]

“Yeah, I’m okay though. And thankfully there wasn’t even a scratch on my phone. But my car was totally wrecked. I actually caught a video of it getting towed away and posted it on my story. It’s in my Highlights. If you go to my profile on Instagram you can see it and…”

Day 2

“I think I found the perfect solution for my problem. Last night, I was scrolling through Facebook, and this ad came up for this lock-away box for my phone. So I bought one on Amazon and it’s supposed to come by tomorrow.
But in the meantime, I’ve been searching up different ways to spend less time on my phone. I downloaded some meditation apps and I even started a Facebook group called ‘Social Media Addiction Awareness.’ I’m the only member so far and, um, you’re all welcome to join. I really feel like I’m making progress, though. That’s all I have to say today. Um, thanks.”

[applause]

Day 3

“Hey. So, uh, I started using the lock-away box that I bought yesterday. I put my phone and laptop in the box, and set it to unlock in five days so… I, um… it feels kind of empty. You know? I constantly feel like something is missing, and it’s only been a couple of hours. With my phone with me, I felt safe. It was like I constantly had a shield with me, or a way to escape…other people. “

[chuckles]

“So, like, I work in a twenty-story building in the city and my office is on the twelfth floor. Nothing is more uncomfortable than a long elevator ride with a stranger, so I usually whip out my phone. I don’t even look at anything most of the time. Sometimes I just stare at a blank screen, but it allows me to avoid awkward conversations with other people. It makes me look occupied. But today, I walked into the elevator unarmed. Defenseless. A middle-aged man walked in after me. As we went up all twelve floors, he was scrolling through his phone which was a relief because he didn’t try to talk to me or anything. But I didn’t know where to look. I stared at the buttons, the door, the ceiling… I also made eye contact with the security camera. I’d never even noticed that we had a camera in the elevator.

At one point, the man looked at me, which made me panic. Out of habit, I reached for my phone in my back pocket. But it wasn’t there. So from his perspective, it probably looked like I was defensively shielding my ass from his gaze or something.”

[laughter]

“So, what I’m saying is my phone always made me feel protected from… the presence of other people. Without it, I’m just…naked and vulnerable. I don’t like the feeling of being seen, you know? It’s suffocating. ”

Day 4

“…without the internet, it’s like I’m invisible. Maybe it sounds a little self-absorbed but I want to be noticed. Right now, I’m no longer connected with, like, half the people I know. It’s terrifying to think that to all those people, I no longer exist. I’m not being dramatic! I used to post on my Instagram story almost every day and suddenly, I just stopped. They probably think I’m dead.”

[chuckles]

“No, really! They probably think I died in that car accident or something.”

[laughter]

“But isn’t that a frightening thought…? That nobody knows what you’re up to? And that you have no idea what’s happening outside of your own headspace? I’ve never felt so alone, so disconnected...”

Day 5

“…I mean, yeah, I guess I could just talk to people, but how do I even go about doing that? I can’t edit shit in real life. I don’t know what I look like when I’m interacting with other people, which is unnerving. Hell, I don’t even recognize myself when I look at my own reflection anymore. I got so used to seeing myself through a camera with all its filters and edits that I forgot: I’m fucking ugly.”

[chuckles]

“And really, it’s kind of funny because I see so many inspirational quotes on Instagram that say ‘Love your body’ or ‘You’re beautiful the way you are,’ but then the next post will be an ad for diet pills.”

[laughter]

“And the pictures. They’re all perfectly staged, with those standard poses and strained smiles and… Even the ‘unfiltered’ moments are captured in a way that’s aesthetic and presentable. ‘I woke up like this?’ No, you fucking didn’t.”

[laughter]

“Stop lying.”

[laughter]

“I mean, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be beautiful, but we have a toxic expectation to be effortlessly beautiful. All the time. So, how is my Quasimodo-looking ass supposed to live up to those standards?”

[laughter and applause]

“No. Really. That was a real question. I want to know.”

Day 6

“‘I’m okay.’ That’s become some sort of mantra for me. Maybe if I say it enough times, it’ll be true. Right? #imokayimokayimokay. I just never anticipated that boredom could be so…boring.”

[chuckles]

“I’ll sit down to read a book and I’m not even halfway through the page before my mind starts to wander. The other day, I went to see a play at a theatre and I actually wondered if I could fast forward through the intermission.”

[laughter]

“Yeah. I’m okay, though. I’m okay.”

Day 7

“My lock-away box opens tomorrow and I’ll be getting my phone back. I… don’t think I’ll be able to keep this up. Staying away from social media, I mean. It’s so much harder to get rid of an alcohol addiction when you’re locked in a bar. We’re stuck in a world where social media is a necessity. People at work have already been asking me why I haven’t been responding to their DMs on Instagram. I cannot stand the thought of being disconnected forever. So I’ve decided to go back.

But I’d like to thank you for being there for me this week. It’s been pretty tough but…

[applause]